Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
so i've been thinkin...
Itz been a few days but i been kinda busy lately. Im at work with nuthin 2 do once again so im just sittin here surfin da web n whut not.
But today, i was thinkin, you know, just about everything. And i remember when my friend told me that if i want something, i get it. Immediately i took defense and pounced on her because i knew that was something i was never raised around; being spoiled. I wasnt really mad at her, i just wanted to explain how thingz work in my house. At home, there are seven ppl, and out of that seven, only 2 wrk...which iz me, and my stepdad. My stepdad has alot of obligations so he doesnt have too much 2 share. But if any of us need somrthing, then he will go out of his way to provide it for us. Now me, i have two jobs and basically im an independent woman bcuz anything that i have, i bought it. anything that i want, i gotta git it. if there is someplace i want or need to be, i have to find a way to get there and back. anything i need, i might just have to suffer until my funds come thru. Itz hard already, but im not that upset about it bcuz itz a learning experience. So when i explained that to my friend she imediatly said, "thats not what i meant breezy, i was saying that when u have a vision, or say u really want somethin, you eventually get it bcuz u work for it and you stay focused on what it iz ur after." I was in total shock. I felt so bad bcuz i didnt let her explain herself. But that statement is one i will never 4git. I really appreciate her 4 telling me that. I guess thatz when i look around and see all my friends with all this fabulous stuff, i wonder how they got it...they either steal, sell drugs, or their parents provide the mula. Im like damn, how come i dont got it like dat? But you know what, some ppl grow up being that way and thats one thing i will not carry with me to adult hood. I kinda feel like i missed out on my childhood "just a bit" bcuz i feel like i grew up a little fast. but now that that ship has sailed, itz time for me to transfer to a yacht. I feel kinda prepared for the world but im still a little scared. I always pictured myself as independent, single, and livin life to the fullest, but isnt that everyones dream? Many ppl have the same dreams but only 1 out of 100 make it there. So im thinkin, if its really that hard to get where u wanna b, then is it even realistic for me to even get there? There are some smart ppl on the streets but apparently they didnt make it anywhere..sometimes itz not their fault, but i often think, "what if thats me?". itz possible. and when i think like that, i often become discouraged. Maybe im setting my dreams too high? if many dont make it, then how am i any different from them? what makes us equal? i dont wanna b a failure, and when i think about failing, i see a vision in my head where im sittin in my condo, fully stocked wit some bomb ass food, a fully loaded closet and a personal stylist by my side. I dont kno y i keep seeing that vision, but i almost think itz impossible to get there. Lately, ive been reaching god more often. Not because im in trouble, but because ive been thankin him for makin me who i am and lettin me make it this far, with my mind set. Im greatful for him making me independent. I thank him for giving me everything that i have. Im just sooo much more appreciative now. So right now, i kinda gotta plan, but idk if itz full proof. the one thing i need to succeed, is motivation, my pride, good ppl around me, and GOD. thats All i need. When i go off to college, i hope i do as well as i plan to...maybe even better. And im trying to promise myself to stay focus and make sure i get the work done. My new favorite modo is: WORK HARD, PLAY HARD...thatz whut i live by now. When u work yourself 2 death, reward yourself to death, but dont get destracted! I dont need ANY distrcations in college. I need ppl around me thatz on the same page. I need ppl to inspire me, i need ppl that'll help me stay on track. And i need myself to believe. I dont necessarily have a negative attitude, i just worry alot. I need to get out that habit and just make it happen. No more worrying child, just make it happen.
But today, i was thinkin, you know, just about everything. And i remember when my friend told me that if i want something, i get it. Immediately i took defense and pounced on her because i knew that was something i was never raised around; being spoiled. I wasnt really mad at her, i just wanted to explain how thingz work in my house. At home, there are seven ppl, and out of that seven, only 2 wrk...which iz me, and my stepdad. My stepdad has alot of obligations so he doesnt have too much 2 share. But if any of us need somrthing, then he will go out of his way to provide it for us. Now me, i have two jobs and basically im an independent woman bcuz anything that i have, i bought it. anything that i want, i gotta git it. if there is someplace i want or need to be, i have to find a way to get there and back. anything i need, i might just have to suffer until my funds come thru. Itz hard already, but im not that upset about it bcuz itz a learning experience. So when i explained that to my friend she imediatly said, "thats not what i meant breezy, i was saying that when u have a vision, or say u really want somethin, you eventually get it bcuz u work for it and you stay focused on what it iz ur after." I was in total shock. I felt so bad bcuz i didnt let her explain herself. But that statement is one i will never 4git. I really appreciate her 4 telling me that. I guess thatz when i look around and see all my friends with all this fabulous stuff, i wonder how they got it...they either steal, sell drugs, or their parents provide the mula. Im like damn, how come i dont got it like dat? But you know what, some ppl grow up being that way and thats one thing i will not carry with me to adult hood. I kinda feel like i missed out on my childhood "just a bit" bcuz i feel like i grew up a little fast. but now that that ship has sailed, itz time for me to transfer to a yacht. I feel kinda prepared for the world but im still a little scared. I always pictured myself as independent, single, and livin life to the fullest, but isnt that everyones dream? Many ppl have the same dreams but only 1 out of 100 make it there. So im thinkin, if its really that hard to get where u wanna b, then is it even realistic for me to even get there? There are some smart ppl on the streets but apparently they didnt make it anywhere..sometimes itz not their fault, but i often think, "what if thats me?". itz possible. and when i think like that, i often become discouraged. Maybe im setting my dreams too high? if many dont make it, then how am i any different from them? what makes us equal? i dont wanna b a failure, and when i think about failing, i see a vision in my head where im sittin in my condo, fully stocked wit some bomb ass food, a fully loaded closet and a personal stylist by my side. I dont kno y i keep seeing that vision, but i almost think itz impossible to get there. Lately, ive been reaching god more often. Not because im in trouble, but because ive been thankin him for makin me who i am and lettin me make it this far, with my mind set. Im greatful for him making me independent. I thank him for giving me everything that i have. Im just sooo much more appreciative now. So right now, i kinda gotta plan, but idk if itz full proof. the one thing i need to succeed, is motivation, my pride, good ppl around me, and GOD. thats All i need. When i go off to college, i hope i do as well as i plan to...maybe even better. And im trying to promise myself to stay focus and make sure i get the work done. My new favorite modo is: WORK HARD, PLAY HARD...thatz whut i live by now. When u work yourself 2 death, reward yourself to death, but dont get destracted! I dont need ANY distrcations in college. I need ppl around me thatz on the same page. I need ppl to inspire me, i need ppl that'll help me stay on track. And i need myself to believe. I dont necessarily have a negative attitude, i just worry alot. I need to get out that habit and just make it happen. No more worrying child, just make it happen.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
photography
lol here i go again...itz 1:39pm and im still postin blogs. IM BORRRRED!!!
5:15 needz to hurry so i can leave. But you know whut...i kinda njoy bloggin. i finally get to express what i have to say and share with everyone updates of my life. but whutev..blah blah blah..chat chat chat....
I like photography, but not professionally. I tend to take my camera everywhere i go so i get some really great shotz. All of these r old so ill have to upload some of my new photographs in another post.
5:15 needz to hurry so i can leave. But you know whut...i kinda njoy bloggin. i finally get to express what i have to say and share with everyone updates of my life. but whutev..blah blah blah..chat chat chat....
I like photography, but not professionally. I tend to take my camera everywhere i go so i get some really great shotz. All of these r old so ill have to upload some of my new photographs in another post.
lolamaxwellstoprequested
shoutz out to my favorite, new, upcommin artist Miss Jillz also known as Lola Maxwell. She raps, produces, and has style like no other...
check out the vid and support this artist!
check out the vid and support this artist!
inspiration: shes sooo lily cole
Lily Cole is one of my favorite English models of all time. One day i hope to visit England, and ppl like her, give me a good reason to.
Lily had began her modelling career when she was only FOURTEEN YEARS OLD! She was walking through the streets of Soho (Soho is an area in the center of the West End of London, England) after a hamburger with friends when a scout approached her about modelling. She ran away, but later changed her mind and was signed on with Storm Models, the mother agency of models such as Kate Moss. HOW EXCITING! Wtf...y cant i git a deal like that lol.
Well, more power 2 this chick. congratulationz on all your acheievementz!
my bitch lily and marilyn manson
Lily had began her modelling career when she was only FOURTEEN YEARS OLD! She was walking through the streets of Soho (Soho is an area in the center of the West End of London, England) after a hamburger with friends when a scout approached her about modelling. She ran away, but later changed her mind and was signed on with Storm Models, the mother agency of models such as Kate Moss. HOW EXCITING! Wtf...y cant i git a deal like that lol.
Well, more power 2 this chick. congratulationz on all your acheievementz!
inspiration: rihannarihannarihanna
ok...so itz only 11:30 and i still got a long wayz 2 go.
i will b posting all types of shit today so dont b surprised if u see everything all under 1 date.
Sooo..this post just talkz a little about my inspiration. Fashion wise, i am inspired by sooooo many different ppl. Everyday, i will try to post something new about the different ppl who inspire me. Anyone from celebrities, to friends, to ppl i just met, and so-on and so-fourth. eachday will be dedicated to someone new...heck, i may even do 3, 4, 5 ppl a day..dependz on time and duties....anywho...
This post will be focused on no other than Rihanna. Rihanna has made a tremendous 360fashion wise and i am SOOOO inspired! But lets git this one thing straight, im not her fukkin groupy and i dont suck her d*ck. I dont really like her muzik, but i can admit, she does have a catchy toon. Musically, she does not catch my attention, but fashionably, THATZ MY BITCH! One thing i love about her is that shez not afraid 2 take risk. She can take things that have been thrown in the closet of no return and bring it back to life. She wearz whut she wanna, and she dont giva shit whut anyone has to say. Thats the kidna attitude i need. Another thing i love about her is the hair of course. Her shit iz never ending. After she cut it really short, i thought her trend settin dayz were over...itz not much u can do with short hair. But she has proved me WRONG WRONG WRONG! Plz Continue to be you and continue to keep me on my toes! thankz for inspiring me!
i will b posting all types of shit today so dont b surprised if u see everything all under 1 date.
Sooo..this post just talkz a little about my inspiration. Fashion wise, i am inspired by sooooo many different ppl. Everyday, i will try to post something new about the different ppl who inspire me. Anyone from celebrities, to friends, to ppl i just met, and so-on and so-fourth. eachday will be dedicated to someone new...heck, i may even do 3, 4, 5 ppl a day..dependz on time and duties....anywho...
This post will be focused on no other than Rihanna. Rihanna has made a tremendous 360fashion wise and i am SOOOO inspired! But lets git this one thing straight, im not her fukkin groupy and i dont suck her d*ck. I dont really like her muzik, but i can admit, she does have a catchy toon. Musically, she does not catch my attention, but fashionably, THATZ MY BITCH! One thing i love about her is that shez not afraid 2 take risk. She can take things that have been thrown in the closet of no return and bring it back to life. She wearz whut she wanna, and she dont giva shit whut anyone has to say. Thats the kidna attitude i need. Another thing i love about her is the hair of course. Her shit iz never ending. After she cut it really short, i thought her trend settin dayz were over...itz not much u can do with short hair. But she has proved me WRONG WRONG WRONG! Plz Continue to be you and continue to keep me on my toes! thankz for inspiring me!
im the man with a plan!
college college college is a must! As you read in my previous post im attending Marymount University in the fall of 2009. One thing good about marymount is that it has a few programs that im interested. Im going to study fashion merchandising and fashion design and possibly minor in business...or i might switch it the other way around...but you get the idea. After i recieve my funding and enough transferrable credits, i will be setting sail to the CHI! oooohhh yeaaah baby! CANT WAIT...
but anywho...When i arrive in chicago, i will be graduating from Columbia three years later..HOPEFULLY! Whilst in chicago, I will be getting more involved in fashion, business and networking. The part I love the most is the culture, diversity, and the CITY LIFE! im a sucker for the urban atmosphere. When im here, i can really feel like that im getting closer to my career. All i have to do iz buckle down, stay focused, never 4git where i came from or who i am , and show the world that IM READY!
Fukk all the ppl who questioned my knowledge and fukk those who never gave a shit!
One thing im learning to do is to LOVE my haters. One day i will master this technique and this can really push me even further in life. During college, hopefully i will have the right connections to intern at a fashion magazine for a while.
Magazines i love (in no particular order): Elle, Baazar, i-D, Teenvouge, Nylon, MISSBEHAVE, V...n thatz all that i can remember
Soooooo...if i can git sometype of anything at one of these, i will be beyond ecstatic!
As of now, I want to be a fashion magazine editor n cheif! I Wanna be the bOSS! j/k but itz just some fanasty that i have from time to time. The thing that scares me about this is having to be in charge and making biiiiig decision...im very indiscive so thats gonna b TUFF! but i think with the right training and the right mind set, I CAN DO IT!
If none of this works out, I think I wanna be a stylist/fashion photographer...n if this doesnt work out, ill be in an office building working for sombadyz company..i know..bummer. But one thing that I have a passion for but probablly wont get paid for, I wanted to travel the world as a street fashion reporter, or have my own street fashion TV show...that would be soooo KOOL!
I really really LOVE fashion but no one really knowz how much i do bcuz i dont put it out there like that. I have fashion on my mind every second of the day and im always designing on paper, or on websites checking out different styles from all over, or putting 2gether random outfits in my head. I dont really dress the part all the time, but just know, im on the same page just as any other fashionista. Ive been pretty dry with my clothing lately for many different reasonz...my $$$ hasnt been on point lately, all i have in my closet are winter clothes, and im not comfortable with my body. I dont really take too many fashion risks because of that. but if i had the body, i'd b da baddest bitch out here lol...j/k.
Now, i have 2 move on from all of that, i just have to accept who i am and just do whut it do. When life gives me limes, turn it into a bomb ass keylime pie! (i hate lemons btw). But this post is getting veeery long so i guess im gonna end it here...AND START A NEW ONE IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES LOl!
....again, im at work from 9-5 so i have NUTHING else 2do.
until then..PAZ(peace) all my lovely bitches
but anywho...When i arrive in chicago, i will be graduating from Columbia three years later..HOPEFULLY! Whilst in chicago, I will be getting more involved in fashion, business and networking. The part I love the most is the culture, diversity, and the CITY LIFE! im a sucker for the urban atmosphere. When im here, i can really feel like that im getting closer to my career. All i have to do iz buckle down, stay focused, never 4git where i came from or who i am , and show the world that IM READY!
Fukk all the ppl who questioned my knowledge and fukk those who never gave a shit!
One thing im learning to do is to LOVE my haters. One day i will master this technique and this can really push me even further in life. During college, hopefully i will have the right connections to intern at a fashion magazine for a while.
Magazines i love (in no particular order): Elle, Baazar, i-D, Teenvouge, Nylon, MISSBEHAVE, V...n thatz all that i can remember
Soooooo...if i can git sometype of anything at one of these, i will be beyond ecstatic!
As of now, I want to be a fashion magazine editor n cheif! I Wanna be the bOSS! j/k but itz just some fanasty that i have from time to time. The thing that scares me about this is having to be in charge and making biiiiig decision...im very indiscive so thats gonna b TUFF! but i think with the right training and the right mind set, I CAN DO IT!
If none of this works out, I think I wanna be a stylist/fashion photographer...n if this doesnt work out, ill be in an office building working for sombadyz company..i know..bummer. But one thing that I have a passion for but probablly wont get paid for, I wanted to travel the world as a street fashion reporter, or have my own street fashion TV show...that would be soooo KOOL!
I really really LOVE fashion but no one really knowz how much i do bcuz i dont put it out there like that. I have fashion on my mind every second of the day and im always designing on paper, or on websites checking out different styles from all over, or putting 2gether random outfits in my head. I dont really dress the part all the time, but just know, im on the same page just as any other fashionista. Ive been pretty dry with my clothing lately for many different reasonz...my $$$ hasnt been on point lately, all i have in my closet are winter clothes, and im not comfortable with my body. I dont really take too many fashion risks because of that. but if i had the body, i'd b da baddest bitch out here lol...j/k.
Now, i have 2 move on from all of that, i just have to accept who i am and just do whut it do. When life gives me limes, turn it into a bomb ass keylime pie! (i hate lemons btw). But this post is getting veeery long so i guess im gonna end it here...AND START A NEW ONE IN ABOUT 5 MINUTES LOl!
....again, im at work from 9-5 so i have NUTHING else 2do.
until then..PAZ(peace) all my lovely bitches
only time will tell
okokok....im still trying to find out who i am but as the days past i feel like im getting closer. Right now, im trying to collect my thoughtz and think about the ppl who should and shouldnt be in my life. Itz time for a fresh start.
There will b alot of changes in my life starting soon, and there will b alot of things i will b letting go.
decisions.decisions.decisions...grrr, whut shall i do..
im still deciding whether i should cut my hair or let it grow....
one side of me is thinking "y not? itz just hair...plus itz summertime..time to let go...time for a new look!" n the other side of me is battling, "you just got it back! remember the experience you had last time when u cut ur hair??!!"
So as im going back and forth with myself, i will b thinking about other big decisions in my life.
College right now iz a fukkin burden. i cant WAIT to git the fuck...but the sacrifices i had 2 make are a little depressing. i had my heart set on Columbia College in Chicago but i just didnt have the funding in time :(
CURSE YOU TUITION XCHANGE PROGRAM!!! *while waving fist in the air...
But anywho...i will be attending Marymount university in the fall and hopefully me being there will give me motivation to make the grades and get the heck out. nothings wrong with marymount, itz just not 4 me.
but with that being said...change iz on itz way..i just need the inspiration!
word of advice 2 myself: GUUD LUCK!
There will b alot of changes in my life starting soon, and there will b alot of things i will b letting go.
decisions.decisions.decisions...grrr, whut shall i do..
im still deciding whether i should cut my hair or let it grow....
one side of me is thinking "y not? itz just hair...plus itz summertime..time to let go...time for a new look!" n the other side of me is battling, "you just got it back! remember the experience you had last time when u cut ur hair??!!"
So as im going back and forth with myself, i will b thinking about other big decisions in my life.
College right now iz a fukkin burden. i cant WAIT to git the fuck...but the sacrifices i had 2 make are a little depressing. i had my heart set on Columbia College in Chicago but i just didnt have the funding in time :(
CURSE YOU TUITION XCHANGE PROGRAM!!! *while waving fist in the air...
But anywho...i will be attending Marymount university in the fall and hopefully me being there will give me motivation to make the grades and get the heck out. nothings wrong with marymount, itz just not 4 me.
but with that being said...change iz on itz way..i just need the inspiration!
word of advice 2 myself: GUUD LUCK!
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
dont call it a comeback!
yo yo yooo!....i beez sugArfree!
Well as you know, i havnt been a member of blogspot 4 very long and the little time that i have, i only posted one blog. (mar24th)
In my last blog i was strugglin with precal and was worried i wasnt gonna graduate..
PA-LEZE bitches...look at me now!
I graduated aaaanndd finished with a 3.5 GPA!(cumlative 3.1)
but yeah...
im just happy to be starting a new chapter in my life and getting a little taste of adulthood.
MAMA"Z SO PROUD OF ME :D!
I have alot to say and probably will be posting more often being that i have a 9-5 and nothing to do with my time!
soooo with that being said..."I'LL BE BAWK" (arnold Swartzineiger voice)
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